2 days ago, simps ruled the internet, and reminded the more intuitive ones that capitalism is undefeated. Red roses, oversized teddy bears, money bouquets and expensive dinners were on full blown display. Some men even gifted both the main girl and side chick - overcompensating each for his infidelity. But, who am I to ruin your happiness? You are the only love of his life.
Now that the season is nearly over, and the misguided singles have gone to pray that ‘next year would not pass them by’, I’m sober enough to speak. (Using ‘sober’ because I confess - I am a sucker for love). Today, we’re going a bit ancient - revisiting our favorite bible (and an Islamic bonus) stories. But not for holiness or spirituality, but for love. And not for the love of Christ (Thank you Jesus) but for downright romance documented in scriptures. Simp with me for the next few minutes.
Isaac and Rebecca
If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the “Love at first sight” syndrome, show hands?
You people just lack patience. I was in that boat with some of y’all till I realized that was exactly how Isaac of the ‘God of Isaac’ fame, found his better half! Bro was literally taking a stroll on a field when he saw Rebecca from afar. Without wasting time, he took her into his mother’s tent, loved her and made her his wife. There was no unnecessary talking stage, or public proposal that would warrant a slap. Man saw, man liked, man wifed. Period!
Hot Take: 4 years in a relationship and he’s saying nothing? 1 year talking stage and he’s still seeing ‘where it would take us’? Okay o. Okay.
Ruth and Boaz
Ruths have been setting standards since the 10s (proud namesake moment).
I don’t know what I love most about this love story - the age, Ruth’s rizz, or Boaz’s intentionality. This was one of those couples who knew exactly what they wanted and how to get it. After a groundbreaking vow to Noami, Ruth stumbled on the field of a man. Boaz, being the lover-boy we all desire, ordered his servants to take extra care of Ruth. In other words, “leave extra crops for her to pick, give her water to drink, DO NOT look at her” (All shades of Intentional)! When our lovebirds wanted to seal it, Ruth pulled off one of those rebellious night time visits, and Boaz in return, not only helped her sneak out in the morning, but also gave her gifts to go with. The rest, they say, was history.
Hot Take: If you visit a guy overnight, and he lets you go empty-handed - get your Bible, read Ruth 3:17, and tell him I said he should fix up.
Prophet Hosea and his very…interesting wife.
The Original, “I can change her’.
Gomer was… a certified, professional, repeat-offender prostitute. And this is me being polite. She loved her profession, and Hosea loved her. Not only did he take all necessary legal steps to marry her, he also never looked to another woman even though she misbehaved. And she misbehaved A LOT. First child with Hosea? She went back to prostitution. Second child? She went back. Third child? Give Hosea his flowers please. At the end, love ACTUALLY prevailed. She stayed, they lived, they loved. Hosea ended the idea that only women can forgive cheating men and not the other way round 2000 years ago. We need more men like him.
Hot Take: May this type of love never find us. Cute, but who would forgive you after your first attempt?
Annanias and Sapphira
Ride or die? Nah, Ride and Die.
Before you come for my head, yes they were toxic but yes, it is still a love story regardless. They were that couple that took the “till death do us part” vow, a little too literally. First off, their names rhymed and this has always been the best starting point for any iconic romance. I also like to think that they agreed on virtually everything and redefined this “One soul, two bodies” thing that people say. Because if this wasn’t it, tell me why you would join your spouse to cheat God fgs?!
Anyways, A for having each other’s back. A+ for dying together. A++ for redefining loyalty!
Hot Take: If you like, carry your two left legs and go and lie for your partner. You have my prayers.
Esther and King Xerxes
“Understanding girlfriend and boyfriend” in the mud.
When we say ‘game knows game’, we’re talking Esther and her King. Queen Esther was exactly who she thought she was. She was the kind of woman to storm into her husband’s office to demand his presence at dinner, and King Xerxes was the type of man to admire that boldness and agree. They literally redefined what it means to be a power couple! And don’t get me started on the part where Haman “fell” on Esther, the King saw it and guess what? He had his head. Our pookie King was also willing to give HALF his kingdom just to make his wife happy…
Hot Take:...and you can’t even check their phones? Your mates are wearing crowns, you’re doing matching hoodie? Change!
Ali (RA) and Fatimah
Oh, for a love that can make the strongest men weak.
This is one of the most iconic couples of Islam for me. As far as i know, Ali might be the Christian version of Samson. This man was strong, and also very in love with his wife, Fatimah. They had a simple life. When Ali was exhausted from work, Fatimah massaged his shoulders. When Fatimah was tired, Ali stepped in to help. He even admitted that whenever she was upset, just seeing her smile was enough to ease his worries (God whennn??). But the key takeout for me was when she died. A man who could lift rocks, and more weight than the average man, had to ask for help to lift his wife’s lifeless body. It’s simply…beautiful.
Hot Take: Leave red flags, and try people who would not mind being vulnerable with you. Thank me later.
To the Taken: Personally, I'm an advocate of showing love to your partner at every chance you get, and that red day is just an opportunity to go spite the singles. Regardless of the motive, I endorse it.
To the Singles: To avoid being bitter next year, at least let love find you. Make moves like Ruth, be capable like King Xerxes. In all you do, don’t ignore red flags just because you think you look good in red. (There’s a reason Samson and Delilah did not make the list).
Till next year. Ciao.
How else can I say you're good?
The initiative behind this is really brilliant
Just going through mails... This is worth a read Ruth🥹🥹